the air inside my lungs is heavenly

i've been feeling like my life needs a change. a big change. maybe because that's been the topic of conversation everywhere i go these days. anyway, i read a magazine article about this

and it got me started. here's a partial list:

- i ordered this book from amazon and i can't wait to get it and read it and try it out. (i also ordered some others, but i'm most excited about this one.)

- i will be purchasing some new running shoes and starting to run again, as soon as it is light enough outside for me to run when i get home. (i don't have a big enough dog to go when it's dark.)

- i organized all my drawers.

- probably gonna join a csa when the one i want has openings in march.

- i scheduled in my piano practicing time. (big accomplishment, believe me.)

- this is the biggest one - i'm giving up soda. i just decided. sometimes i make the best decisions on the fly like that. i'm not sure i'm prepared for the headaches though.

anyway, i'm excited to try all this out. sometimes, though, when i get excited about things, i get excited for a few days and then it sort of peters out... so i'm holding you all accountable for holding me accountable. whether you like it or not.

sometimes lonely hearts they just get lonelier

the calm before the storm

tonight, in phoenix, the jazz and suns played in a major debacle, and i had tickets. i got to witness the madness first hand. it was thrilling, it was fun, it was a heart breaker. it's funny how you can be in the same room as about a million people and still feel so lonely.

the best part of my evening, however, had to be the guy sitting next to me. he didn't realize i was a jazz fan (despite my jazz attire) until al jefferson scored the first basket and i cheered like a crazy. after that, he decided to see how serious i was about it. he started out slow, asking how i felt about jerry sloan quitting (i think you can all guess how that conversation went) and when i answered that satisfactorily, he was quiet for a bit.

in the second quarter, he decided he would try a little harder. the conversation went something like this:

him: "you know, the jazz didn't always used to be in utah."

me: "yeah..."

him: "they used to be in new orleans before they moved there."

me: (incredulous look - he had to be joking)

him: "yup, bet you didn't know that. that was before you were born."

me: "yeah, with pistol pete."

him: silence...

a while later, he tried to test me again.

him: "the jazz used to have a good big man, before al jefferson. did you know that? he was one of the best big men of his day."

me: "mark eaton?" (in my head: "really? mark eaton? but he can't mean greg ostertag.")

him: silence again. then "i guess you really are a jazz fan."

in my head again: "if he asks me if i know who john stockton is, i'll call security."

all in all, a pretty high quality way to spend a tuesday evening. thanks for the Christmas present staci!

love of life means hope for me

i love sundays.

i especially love sundays when they turn out like today did.

i got to go this morning to spend time with some special people - the lady i hung out with is named lisa, and she has down's syndrome. she just wanted a shoulder to rest her head on, so i sat next to her and let her. i held her hand, helped her sing some amazing primary songs, and let her wave her american flag. it was incredible. i can't wait to go again next week - i have never felt so strongly the love that the Lord has for other people.

i especially love sundays when the relief society lessons are like mine was today (i really love it when they are not taught by me...) annie did an unbelievable job. she brought a smile to my face, tears to my eyes, and conviction to my soul. in half an hour. quite an accomplishment, if you ask me. someday maybe i'll be like her...

and, i especially love sundays when i listen to perfect sunday music. this song came on my ipod today, and i couldn't have picked a better one to fit the mood of the day. this last week has been crazy busy and somewhat stressful. if i can take the words of that song to heart tonight and spend a sunday evening doing things that are important, becoming "calm in my soul" will be the perfect remedy, and the perfect preface to another busy week ahead.

now we say goodnight

a list of things i thought i would see before jerry sloan died coaching the jazz:

- a title

- an 8th harry potter book

- my grandkids

- flying cars

- the second coming
- my own published book
- the end of facebook
- china, again
- byu winning the national title
- robot butlers

what a sad day. my heart sunk when i heard jerry was resigning. i'd take him over deron williams any day. in a heartbeat. with one hand tied behind my back. blindfolded...

anyway, here's john stockton talking about it. what a classy guy.

good thing i still have jimmer.

i feel so helpless now

the last time i cried was yesterday, during my lunch break. i hate disappointing people, but i think the strange paradox of the situation is that i probably feel worse than the people i'm disappointing. that makes no sense. anyway, i had to tell lisa i couldn't come to her wedding, and i cried. i'm a dork.

also, i've been listening to a new favorite song on repeat since yesterday morning. actually, it's an old favorite song, just rediscovered. i'm so embarrassed that i do that - am i the only one? seriously, i think i've listened to two others in the last 48-ish hours. that makes the count: 749 - rediscovered favorite, 2 - two others.

i'm trying to send out good karma in advance of the jazz/suns game i will be attending next week. they need it, bad. (both teams, but the jazz especially, since i'll be ticked if they lose.) so only good thoughts for me until next wednesday.

i have heard a lot of sad stories lately (might have something to do with this book i'm reading - the books i read tend to color my lenses a little bit. it is, however, an excellent read. i'm avoiding finishing it because i don't want it to be over.) whenever someone tells me about the sad circumstances of their life, i just want to give them a big hug. are hugs really that therapeutic, or is that just my gut reaction because i don't know what else to do? who knows...