Thursday, July 30, 2009

don't starve a poor boy

andrea (my old roommate) and i used to have a term for the boys i hung out with: ____ and bailers. (the first half of that term is a little offensive i think, so i chose not to share it. but it doesn't quite have the same ring to it now.) for some unfathomable reason, the boys i tend to befriend can't keep a commitment worth beans.

i remember one of the days i got sick of being bailed on, so the bailer received a pretty nasty text message in response to his bailage. he apologized, profusely, but i was having none of that. i wanted something firm and concrete. so andrea and i wrote up a little document and forced him to come sign. it went something like this:

"i, blankety blank, do hereby solemnly swear to never ever ever ever ever ever ever bail on anyone/anything again and if i ever do i will give jenna 1387 (one thousand three hundred eighty seven) steaks and 4 (four) bottles of yoohoo and a boat ride or else i'll die. signed and dated"

i worked at a lawyers office long enough to know that spelling out numbers after writing the numbers themselves makes things official. and, can i get everyone i meet to sign something like this? either they would sign or refuse to sign, and i could filter out all the ____ and bailers. it would simplify my life greatly.

Monday, July 27, 2009

what if i'm a mermaid

so far in my life, i have one really great embarrassing story that i use when occasions call for an embarrassing story. not that i've only been embarrassed once, but i am not the greatest story teller and i have that one down to an art. the rest just get fuzzy about five minutes after they happen, so i just stick with that one story.

in recent days, however, i have been reminded of a pretty embarrassing moment with many (far too many) witnesses and even a videotape. (i have yet to see that video, and am keeping my fingers crossed that it will just magically disintegrate.) and for some reason i feel the need to expose that story for the whole entire earth to read if they feel like it. who knows why.

when i was five or six, my grandparents went on a mission and we had a family reunion before they left. right around this time i saw "the little mermaid" for the first time and became obsessed. we had a gray couch (i was so lucky!!) that i would use as a rock, and i would have given anything for water to come spraying up around me as i sang my little heart out on that thing.

at this family reunion, i thought i would share my talents and love for ariel with all of my more grown up cousins and aunts and uncles - so i wrote a play: "the little mermaid two." i, of course, was playing the part of ariel, i had a horse (played by my cousin eric), a best friend (cousin arianna), king triton (don't remember which cousin), a green cotton tail, and paper plate seashells. and i sang. oh boy, did i sing.

looking back on that occasion, i'm not sure what i hoped to accomplish with that play. i just wanted to show off, i think. these days, i am horrified at the thought of an uncontrolled video of that floating around somewhere. but a little part of me still wishes i was a mermaid with an amazing singing voice...

Sunday, July 26, 2009

or so i have been told

sometimes, strangely and unexpectedly, it feels like winter to me. it is currently 9:07 pm and 102 degrees outside, but i keep finding myself expecting to see snow when i walk by the window.

maybe it has something to do with the chocolate chip cookies i just made (although i'm not sure what that something would be) or the round of christmas-type songs i played on the piano this evening. but whatever it is, i find it slightly unnerving.

Thursday, July 23, 2009

i fought a war to walk a gangplank

my decision making skills leave a lot to be desired. i have always thought i would just grow out of that someday when i was an adult. and then today it hit me - i'm an adult (if twenty five and one half is not adulthood, i don't know what is...) and i don't think this lack of decisiveness is acceptable adult behavior, so i've been analyzing this evening. my bad decision-making falls into three different and distinct categories

one - decisions i can't make because they involve more people than just me
two - decisions involving just me that i make with no thought whatsoever
three - decisions i never make because i don't want to think about them

now, i suspect i am not alone in any of these categories - category number one i'm sure is especially common - but i may be one of a few people to possess all three. frankly, i find it amazing that i ever get anything accomplished. but i want to explore those last two more in depth. first off, number two...

i remember a seinfeld episode where george decides to act against his instincts and choose the opposite of what he normally would choose, and suddenly, like magic, his life improves. he starts getting everything he wants! i have often thought i should try this for a day or two, or even a week, just to see what happens. but i fear that most of the decisions i make on a daily basis fall into category number two - i act without thinking, and therefore don't have a chance to pick the opposite of what i was thinking - i never thought of anything in the first place. more often than not, (actually probably ninety-nine percent of the time ) i wish i had picked the opposite once it is too late to go back. for example, i wish i had never sent that text, or left that message, or made that call even. i wish i had said something more intelligent, or not made that silly face, or even chosen different shoes. but it's too late - the damage has been done and now i must live with the consequences. on the plus side, i have become pretty adept at forgetting those mistakes rather quickly and only being ashamed of myself for a split second. but that may be preventing me from ever changing my ways... i guess i'll have to decide which consequence i like better.

category number three is a little more worrisome to me. there are tasks that need to be done, plans that need to be made, people that need to be seen, places that need to be visited, life that needs to be lived, but they seem so far in the distance that procrastination doesn't seem to be doing any harm. so i keep living my life and those things never get closer. in some cases, the task seems so daunting i can't bring myself to think about it just yet. i want to take it one baby step at a time, but that only works if the baby steps exist. i've been so oblivious that i am just now realizing that life doesn't stop when you aren't thinking about it, so i've decided to take action. saturday will officially be declared "jenna day" and i am going to sit down and accomplish - phone will be turned off, facebook will be inaccessible (somehow.) i am going to figure out my life, if for no other reason than i need to stop complaining about it not being figured out. (which is my own fault, really.) and then i am going to reward myself by doing something really great. suggestions are welcome.

Sunday, July 19, 2009

watching the sun

ode to the high dive
standing at the bottom, looking up
i chickened out
i'm sorry i thought you would let me slip
and fall to my death
of course you would never do that
you are too fun loving and wonderful
once i finally got the guts
falling through the air
into that blue water
felt like falling through time
my troubles melted away, and i was nine again
playing at the pool with my friends
having the time of my life
on that good ol' high dive
i want to do that every day

Monday, July 13, 2009

following me around

when your saturday includes

piano lessons
driving range (in 112 degrees! woah bill! but also including a free golf lesson, so definitely worth it)
pool time
at least an hour getting ready for a fun party
driving around town like a crazy person because someone forgot details
jumping in a different pool and destroying your getting ready in .3 seconds
watermelon football
a new game every ninety seconds (some of them included pass the potato without hands, spin the bottle dice style, catch the grape, and leg wrestling)
getting to bed after two a.m.

it takes a while to recover. i am exhausted today, and considering going to bed in about five seconds. i guess that's why they invented mondays, to recover from fun times like those. i've had so much going on the past few weeks, this week is looking empty and a little depressing! hopefully i can find something to occupy my time, or i might go crazy.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

i think i know

how's this for the near future? :)

no one ever believes me when i tell them i have known my best friend since first grade. and i always feel super cool when i tell people that, because i usually win the knowing-someone-for-longest-length-of-time contest.

some of my favorite jessi memories include:

-any one of our seven years of girl's camp. like the first year, which everyone said was completely awful but we were oblivious because we were cute little first years. or the year it was her sixteenth birthday at camp (yuck) and we made up a song and dance and performed on our stage.
-spying on her from my living room window when she came home from a date with a stalker and we almost blasted "kiss the girl" for them.
-lake powell
-ben and jerry's when we were sad
-branbury, and the mushrooms growing in the carpet
-summer seminary when we cheated on the scripture game so i would get the purple bag of skittles and share with her
-lost parties, including swimming in the pool with cute little scotty!
-game nights with the loud francis family

one bad thing about being friends for so long is the fact that we don't take pictures together anymore unless we deliberately think about it. i think we just take for granted that we'll always be around, so we don't need any evidence of the fact that we are friends. but we are, and i am sure glad! thanks for all you do jess - you are the best!!

break from the concrete

i've been in a bit of a funk lately... i do this cyclical thing in my life where i get mad at people for some stupid reason, and then get mad at myself for being mad, and then get mad at the people again for making me mad at myself... it's vicious, and unpleasant. however, i am getting a visitor this week and we might be going camping, which would make all my dreams come true.

i had a request after my last post to share some boy stories, but none of them are ready for public consumption yet. just sit tight, and after a couple of months of isolation they will be. or i'll try to think of some other good ones i can share, because i do seem to attract the crazies. who knows why.

my paper crane count has not changed. i'm awful. i think that puts the daily total i should be achieving somewhere around 500... or not. but i am sure it is some ridiculous number, and i am too scared to find out what it is to calculate.

happy birthday to jessi last on sunday!!! i'm a horrible friend. you will be getting your own post sometime in the near future.

you are all cool!