let's cause a scene

my baby sister is turning 18 today. boy, do i feel old! heidi is probably the coolest little sister there ever was. she is so much fun, and she makes whatever we do fun! she's always saying some goofy thing, or doing a little goofy dance, or just doing something goofy. she's also a great listener - whenever i tell her a story she is very sympathetic. it makes me feel good to have someone like that to talk to, who is on my side. she gets to go to disneyland for her birthday, which causes some jealousy in my heart, but i hope she just goes and has the best time imaginable. she deserves it! love you gub!!

oh, and she is basically a model. i got all the crazy hair genes, and she got all the hot genes...

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if any of you out there is looking for ways to make me melt, or if you know anyone who is, i have a suggestion - Les Miserables on Broadway, or in London, or really anywhere with professionals performing. I have been listening to the 10th anniversary concert cd's lately, and i am in love. i have been ever since i first listened to the cd's when i was in 4th grade. i distinctly remember being obsessed with eponine, and writing out the story line in my 4th grade journal. once after having done this, adam davis sat on my desk and we got into an in-depth discussion about the story line. he had a lot more knowledge of the overall story than i did - i was, like i said, obsessed with eponine (as i think probably every girl high school age and younger is) and the rest of the story was only important as it related to her. during our off-track breaks from school, i would make jessi come over and we would get in dress ups and "re-enact" the play. (really just my favorite songs, with me being all the coolest people. sorry jess! about all of that...) after that little phase, my interest waned some, but not so much that i completely lost contact with it. for my choir audition my junior year i sang "on my own" and thought it had so much meaning for me in my life, with whatever boy i was hopelessly in love with (at the time) and his non-existent knowledge of me. then, when i journeyed up to rexburg i found out my roommate shared the same love, and she introduced me to the 10th anniversary edition, on video. we would watch it for hours (rexburg is boring) and sing at the top of our lungs. i sang "on my own" again for my voice class. i loved it. time passed, and i went on a seriously mistaken trip to nashville, where i rediscovered that video. once again, i watched it multiple times and sang along, complete with tears during "on my own." (i didn't grow out of that phase as quickly as most. my teen angst lasted much longer than it should have. i am still dealing with the lingering vestiges of it.)

these days, and this time around with the obsession, i believe i should be searching for jean valjean and convincing him to marry me. i know he is fictional, and old, but we can't help who we love. he is forced into criminal behavior, punished for it, and becomes understandably embittered towards the human race. then, when he encounters a truly good person, he changes the direction of his life. that right there is convincing enough for me. how many people in the world would take the incident with the bishop all in stride, as their dues for having served time just because they were hungry and did something to remedy the situation. but valjean takes the opportunity to become a better person, and he sticks with it. he voluntarily confesses to his true identity after the wrong man is captured in his place. he takes in an orphan he doesn't even know and treats her as if she is his own child. multiple times, he meets the man who is chasing him because he broke his parole (if only all policemen were as dedicated as javert, the world would be a safer place. :)) and tells him that he needs to keep a promise, to finish a task he started, and then javert can arrest him again. even given the opportunity to kill javert and stop being hunted, he lets him go. instead of running away from his problems, he meets them head on and does what is right, despite the depravity around him.

despite my love for the story, and the music, i have never seen this play done professionally. (i did go when mountain view did the production, and it was well done, but not the same...) my dream is london. i would love to go to london anyway, and the capstone to the whole trip would be seeing this musical while there. (i think i remember hearing once upon a time that the broadway show is done, retired, and maybe the london one as well. it's late/early and i don't feel like doing any research, so i'll just pretend that was something else and let the dream still live.) so, like i said, if any of you out there are trying to woo me, or you know someone who is, i have given you the key... :)

a patch of four leaf clovers

because of the shameful state of my blog lately, i'm posting twice tonight.

things haven't been going exactly how i planned them the past little while. although, i shouldn't have counted on that to happen, because when do they ever? i've been struggling with making decisions about school and jobs and which ward to go to and all of that, which definitely doesn't make for fun days or nights. i guess i had this grand scheme and for some reason i expected it all to work out perfectly and immediately, but i have lived long enough to know better. in fact, probably just because i thought all of those things, they won't happen. i jinxed myself. i think i was expecting to be adjusted just by virtue of the fact that i was moving - the drive down would magically make everything fall into place, or something. but i know better. china was 5 months of adjustment, and that is part of what made it fun. and i am definitely enjoying myself down here. it is so very fun to have jessi, dude, and scott so close. and all of these job interviews are giving me some... what is the right word... entertaining experiences to share, that is for sure. i'm definitely living, and having a chance to discover quite a few things about myself. and that is the most exciting part of it all, i think. i love figuring myself out a little bit better, and making myself into the best person i can be. that's what change is all about, isn't it? gives you a chance to see what you are made of, and to change the things you discover that you don't like. i'm glad i am getting that chance, again. the more i get to figure myself out, the better i can become. i hope i can just keep working on it.

the wind went and pulled me

i am in love with the arizona sky. it is absolutely beautiful. i don't know what it is - maybe the dry desert air, or the big open space, or weather patterns, or a combination of things, or something completely different, but the sky down here is incredible. a lot of times when i'm driving i kick myself that i don't have my camera, because i just want to pull over and fill up a memory card with pictures of the clouds. i really haven't seen anything like it, at least as consistently as i have down here. the other night the sun was setting and it was exceptionally pretty. so even though my camera is not made for that kind of picture, and my camera wielding skills aren't everything you could hope for, i grabbed my trusty nikon and headed to the backyard to see if i could at least capture a little taste. and i think i was successful. there is no way i could fully capture the real spirit of it, but i don't think any camera can. you just have to experience it yourself. for those of you scared of the heat, though, here's a sampling of the delights! :)

slide it to the left

it is my brother ragan's birthday today. ragan is one of the most adventurous people i know. (well, really, i like to think of all of us lybbert kids as adventurous, myself included. but ragan definitely is one of the most adventurous of us.) whether it is a road trip to alaska, or a trip back to chile, or boating at 5 in the morning, ragan is always up for fun, adventuresome times. also, he is a very caring genuine person. he is always making an effort to do special things for the people he cares about, and that is one quality i would like to develop a little bit more. so here's to you, little bro!! i hope your birthday is everything you hoped it would be and more, and that the bus ride to anchorage isn't too terribly painful.