maybe you can step inside

it is a not so secret desire of mine to be in a band someday. even if i just have to play the tambourine, i would kill it on that tambourine. but really, i could play the keyboard, or be the lead singer, or back up vocalist, or cowbell ringer - whatever was required of me, as long as i got to be a part of a band. a band with a playful, interesting name that wrote songs that people sang at the top of their lungs while they drove down the street, preferably. but i'll take what i can get.

a little while ago, i was hanging out with a friend who used to be in a band. he pulled out his guitar and we started rocking out, singing some weezer, some mxpx, some dashboard... that little taste was awesome, and left me wanting more. so if anyone knows a band looking for a tambourine player, you know where to send them. i hope that rock band will not be the closest i ever get to this goal... (cuz rock band is cool, but not the same as a real stage.)

too aware of the pending

my dad used to tell people all the time about his theory on deja vu. i don't remember what it is though - he stopped telling about it when i got old enough to realize what it was, and had moved on to another theory, about the passing of time. his theory was (is?) that the older you get, the faster time goes because your life is growing longer to fit it all in. for example, when you are 2 one year is fifty percent of your lifespan, but when you are 25 a year is 1/25th of your life span. obviously, i am very bad at explaining it but i am also a firm believer in it's truth.

i don't think i am the first person to observe how fast time flies, nor is my dad the first person to come up with a theory about it (or even the first person to come up with that theory, i'm sure.) but all the same, i can see my days, and weeks, and month, and years, just rushing by and i can't stop them, or slow them down. there are so many things i want to do, things i would love to do, but before i know it the clock says 11:30 or the calendar is at december and all my good intentions just stayed intentions.

i was talking to my aunt about this phenomenon the other day and she agreed, telling me about a professor she once had who told her that in ten years she would be ten year older no matter what she did, so why not make the most of it and make those ten years something she could be proud of. after our conversation, i resolved to do just that - make decisions about my life and follow through with them, so i can be proud and happy with what i've done when i look back ten years from now. but so far, all i have been able to do is think about how fast the time is going...