Wednesday, April 22, 2009

to let regret sit in my lap

i realized tonight that i don't do alone very well. with everybody else who lives here gone, i basically just counted the hours until i could go to bed.

the jazz game didn't keep me entertained like it should have.
the internet didn't keep me entertained like it should have.
the elliptical didn't keep me entertained like it should have.

i basically just bounced around between all of those things, wondering why i didn't just go to bed about fifty times. i have a mental block about going to bed before midnight though, so i had to tough it out. (i should have taken you up on your offer, jess.)

the thing is, when i am by myself my brain gets going, and i start thinking and worrying about things that really have no relevance, or things that i have already worked out and should have moved past. there is a lot i could have done, and a lot i tried to do, but my heart and brain weren't in it and i ended up just thinking myself silly... (but i also thought about the awesome dream i had last night, in which i had a hot date with dwayne wade. awesome.)

luckily, i tested the pool and it is ready. tomorrow is going to contain my very first dip of the year.

2 comments:

Lacking Productivity said...

If being alone means dreams of D-Wade, I suggest you start enjoying yourself. ;D

JessiLeigh said...

Always, you should regret refusing my offers!!!