offered up my innocence and got repaid with scorn

twas in another lifetime, one of toil and blood
when blackness was a virtue and the road was full of mud
i came in from the wilderness, a creature void of form
"come in," she said, "i'll give you shelter from the storm"

and if i pass this way again, you can rest assured
i'll always do my best for her, on that i give my word
in a world of steel-eyed death, and men who are fighting to be warm
"come in," she said, "i'll give you shelter from the storm"

not a word was spoke between us, there was little risk involved
everything up to that point had been left unresolved
try imagining a place where it's always safe and warm
"come in," she said, "i'll give you shelter from the storm"

i was burned out from exhaustion, buried in the hail
poisoned in the bushes an' blown out on the trail
hunted like a crocodile, ravaged in the corn
"come in," she said, "i'll give you shelter from the storm"

...

well, the deputy walks on hard nails and the preacher rides a mount
but nothing really matters much, it's doom alone that counts
and the one-eyed undertaker, he blows a futile horn
"come in," she said, "i'll give you shelter from the storm"

i've heard newborn babies wailin' like a mournin' dove
and old men with broken teeth stranded without love
do i understand your question, man, is it hopeless and forlorn?
"come in," she said, "i'll give you shelter from the storm"

...

well, i'm livin' in a foreign country but i'm bound to cross the line
beauty walks a razor's edge, someday i'll make it mine
if i could only turn back the clock to when God and her were born
"come in," she said, "i'll give you shelter from the storm"


today is a bob dylan kind of day.

how i wish you could see the potential

randoms

- i thought it was going to storm tonight, finally. monsoon season is the only reason arizona summer is good. and yet again, it passed my house by...

- last night was the fourth night in a row i lost sleep because of "inception." i knew i was wimpy, but i didn't know i was that wimpy. (yes, it scared me. i'm wimpy. stupid five seconds at the end.)

- i've been thinking all week about tie-dying some shirts and making cinnamon rolls, but i just can't bring myself to invite people over for that in case it turns out super lame. so maybe i'll just do it myself. (and deliver cinnamon rolls to random neighbors, because i can't have those things hanging out at my house. i just want to make them, not eat them.)

- i'd feel good about a four day work week/three day weekend. every week.

- i ran out of radiolab to listen to, and now i'm bored at work again. sunday night we watched a show about the universe on the science channel, and i knew all the answers. :)

- the bulls are turning into the poor man's jazz. (except they got kyle korver and ronnie brewer, so more like the jazz 2.0. raja bell and gordon hayward better be worth it, or else.)

- i'm getting more impatient, the older i get. no bueno.

consistence from somebody

things have been a little serious around here lately, so here's an awesome video for your viewing enjoyment.




my favorite commercial + my favorite institution for higher learning = really awesome

in the darkness of my night, in the brightness of my day

nerd alert - (don't read this if you hate nerds)

listening to radiolab some more. they are discussing the universe, and i am slowly becoming obsessed with it. (can physics be a hobby? i think i'm headed that direction. without the math, if that is possible.)


the specific discussion that i'm fretting about today refers to the shape of the universe. (which is different from the center of the universe.) here's a little excerpt:


"we don't know that the universe is infinitely big. it could be that you go on for some distance and you walk and you walk and you wind up coming back from that direction, sort of like the surface of the earth. it has a certain size - it's not infinitely big. it doesn't have an edge, you can't fall off, but nevertheless, when you keep on going you return to your starting point. it could be that the universe has that kind of a shape. the data seems not to support that at all, at the moment. the best astronomical data supports a universe that is flat as opposed to curved."


i have to say, when i heard that, i was somewhat relieved. people tend to use the circle as a model of infinity, saying that it has no end. but when i think of something like, for example, eternal life, i can't reconcile those two things in my mind. if eternal life was like a circle, we would keep coming back to the same moments over and over again, right? i would relive this exact moment more times than i could count.


i've never felt like that is right. the way we are taught about our lives, the plan of salvation, seems to me to be linear. so when i heard this explanation, it just clicked in my brain. feel free to correct me if i'm wrong (it would not be the first time.)

(here's a link to the show, if anyone is interested in listening. WNYC - Radiolab - The (Multi) Universe(s). the part explaining about the universe being like swiss cheese is also very intriguing.)

different ways in the mind

something funny happened to me today. funny-hmmm, not really funny-haha.

i was standing in the bathroom at work, washing my hands, and suddenly i was sad. it kind of felt like someone had exploded an atomic bomb of sadness in my vicinity, and the sonic wave washed over me. i was sad for that one instant, and then it was gone.

i thought it was interesting, and tried to remember if there was a reason, or if maybe some depressed ghost had just walked through me. and i realized i had been just letting my mind wander, somewhat randomly. i must have found the area of my brain that contains all of my sad thoughts and accessed it instantly before i could stop myself - before my safety mechanism kicked in saying "wait wait, now is not the time or the place for that. put those away before you hurt yourself."

funny how our brains work, eh? i just thought all of that while washing my hands.

love of life will urge me say

poetry

sundays are good
sundays are great
sundays are wonderful
how could i hate?

and now, for a slightly better poem.

the great yes - by constantine p. cavafy (english translation)

For some people the day comes
when they have to declare the great Yes
or the great No. It's clear at once who has the Yes
ready within him; and saying it,

he goes from honor to honor, strong in his conviction.
He who refuses does not repent. Asked again,
he'd still say No. Yet that no -- the right no--
drags him down all his life.

just some food for thought.

can you see the people

i tell you, i am geeking out.

does the universe have a center? because the way i see it goes like this - the universe is constantly expanding, which means it has no edges, which would make it hard to have a center...

anyone who can successfully and satisfactorily answer this question receives a delicious homemade prize courtesy of me. (and no, "jenna" does not count as the answer.)

here i am, where i've been

so, i've been listening to radiolab the last little bit, and forgive me for geeking out a bit, but i really love it. it's like bill nye the science guy, but for grown-ups.

take today, for instance. today, i learned about the little men who make our dreams, einstein's theory of relativity, how rats and iguanas and ducks and dolphins sleep (and how that compares to human sleep), and how to make the best zoo exhibits. in one day, and all while i was typing up orders and answering phone calls and opening mail.

also occurring in my monday - one of those moments that just hit you where you feel so happy you just want to sing and dance and be in a musical. i was just minding my own business, folding some papers, when i thought about all of the wonderful things in my life - past, present, and future.

- china
- being set apart in a new calling yesterday
- going to the temple tomorrow
- new plans, and new ideas
- learning new things

it hit me like a boulder - knocked the wind right out of me! i'm blessed, and loved, and just because life isn't perfect doesn't mean it isn't enjoyable. those two things are not mutually exclusive. i guess some days i just need a reminder of that - a glimpse of what i forget during the normal hours of my life.

(now here's a picture, just because. i'm wearing my favorite shirt, at my favorite sushi place, with my favorite sister. so, pretty much incredible.)

like a good captain

if you find yourself having a day where you hate the planet, feel free to try my foolproof formula to get yourself over that hatin'.

take one best friend, one two year old, and one five month old (the cuter the better. the best specimens reside in mesa, az.)

add a delicious dinner and some chocolate custard.

let sit for approximately an hour and a half, or the length of one silly chick flick.

throw in some good conversation and a dash of cold war kids.

voila! you've got yourself the recipe for success right there. nothing like the power of a two year old to cure anything that ails ya.

each morning i get up i die a little

i just finished reading this



















for what is probably the twenty hundredth time, give or take a few. i love it. love. as in, if that book were a man i would grab him by the hand and make him marry me and talk me to sleep every night. (is that weird? it's the truth.)

when i get about 47 pages from the end, i always think "there are too few pages left. i wish this book could go on forever, like the neverending story. i wonder how quickly i can start reading it again." (i have a rule - i have to read at least 8 or 9 books in between readings of this one, or i might start to love it less.)

so there you go - my book endorsement for the day. in case you still need some convincing, here's an excerpt:

"And now, because a story is told for all, an admonition to the mindsick:

Be careful whom you choose to hate.

The small and vulnerable own a protection great enough, if you could but see it, to melt you into jelly."

it's like music. i love it.

the air, simmerin

things that are awesome
- getting off work early
- 3 day weekends
- fireworks
- espn.com
- sewing machines
- swimming pools
- peanut butter filled pretzels
- air conditioning
- the most comfortable pajama pants in the history of the world
- good books

things that are not quite so awesome
- forgetting to write your missionary brother
- when everyone you know goes on vacation
- going back to work after 3 day weekends
- bugs
- sleep deprivation

good thing the awesome outweighs the not quite so, eh?

wanna be startin somethin

way back on may 18, i posted on my facebook status these exact words.

"i'm so sick of hearing about lebron james already. doesn't everyone know he is a baby?" (for real. i looked it up.)

and yet, it continues. i can't wait for this summer to be over so we can get back to some real basketball. (although i do have to admit, i'm a little intrigued by the possibility of lebron, dwayne wade, and chris bosh the dinosaur all playing on the same team... seems slightly unfair, but also slightly awesome.)

i'm ready to go back to the good ol' days. john and karl agree.