don't starve a poor boy

andrea (my old roommate) and i used to have a term for the boys i hung out with: ____ and bailers. (the first half of that term is a little offensive i think, so i chose not to share it. but it doesn't quite have the same ring to it now.) for some unfathomable reason, the boys i tend to befriend can't keep a commitment worth beans.

i remember one of the days i got sick of being bailed on, so the bailer received a pretty nasty text message in response to his bailage. he apologized, profusely, but i was having none of that. i wanted something firm and concrete. so andrea and i wrote up a little document and forced him to come sign. it went something like this:

"i, blankety blank, do hereby solemnly swear to never ever ever ever ever ever ever bail on anyone/anything again and if i ever do i will give jenna 1387 (one thousand three hundred eighty seven) steaks and 4 (four) bottles of yoohoo and a boat ride or else i'll die. signed and dated"

i worked at a lawyers office long enough to know that spelling out numbers after writing the numbers themselves makes things official. and, can i get everyone i meet to sign something like this? either they would sign or refuse to sign, and i could filter out all the ____ and bailers. it would simplify my life greatly.