i make a deal like that

randoms.

- i'm trying to quit soda, for the fifth time. the people i work with are very good at giving suggestions as to the best method for it, but flooding me with suggestions is never a great idea. i'm the worst decision maker in the history of the world. i'll probably try my old standby method eventually - cold turkey (although you can see how well that has worked for me in the past. i totally abstain for three or four months, and then one hot arizona day does me in.) it just seems like a better method than cutting out one day a week, or one soda a day. because i'm very good at saying to myself "i'll just add all these up and then do them all in a row." which is, essentially, cold turkey.

- thursdays are the worst days. friday would be, at the end of the week with all the cumulative effects of no sleep and long days and scary dreams about drug lords trying to murder me. except by thursday evening i have lost all ability to stay awake past nine. so, fridays are the best days, because i go to sleep at grandma hour and get twenty thousand hours of sleep, which leads to the best moods known to man. (i know that's not mathematically correct, but i try to avoid living my life by the rules of mathematics. i'm so bad at them.)

- today marks the third day in november that i've had my air conditioning on in my car. i don't think it is possible to love arizona more than i do right now. especially since the mornings and evenings and inside of buildings are cold enough that i can wear my cute boots. that is the best of both worlds right there.

- i made up the best dinner last night. made it up. who knew?

i was the king of carrot flowers

i feel like it's time for a new post, especially since october has been such an eventful month already.

october first - i moved. to this.

(that is my new room, for those of you feeling stalkerish. a mountain of cool points if you can guess how many books i have, or name five of them.)

also on october first (and second) - general conference, with my favorite speakers speaking about my favorite subjects (elder holland even referenced basketball, so it's really true.)

october third through the seventh - a week of work at my new and fun and exciting job (at the same company. yay for getting promoted!) i got a new nickname - jenna ketchup - and a new addition - jimmer watching over my shoulder. a-like this. (now who's stalkerish? i promise i'm not crazy.)

october seventh again - awake for twenty three hours so i could take a road trip with cool emily. we made it to orem safely, if not completely sane. (sleep cured me - like i said, i'm not crazy.) which set up -

october seventh through sixteenth - a much needed vacation to utah. it is always funny to go back home - i feel like i'm in the twilight zone most of the time i'm there, because things have changed so much yet not at all, and i forget i live somewhere else. my mind gets blown usually when i think about how i'm the only one that really knows both places. my people in one place don't know my people in the other place, but i feel like they should all know and love each other like i do... someday i'll build a city where everyone i love lives and we all know each other and everyone is happy and the sun shines all the time... what a great dream, eh?

anyway, today is october eighteenth and while nothing too significant has happened the past few days, i have a feeling october is going to turn out to be a pretty great month.

everyone's searching for treasure

a few days, or maybe weeks, ago, i was on my way to a baseball game with some friends and someone asked me how things are going. i said something like this - "do you ever wish you could quit your life and start a new one? i kind of feel that way right now." (not quit my life as in die. just have a different life. wanted to clarify.)

sometimes i just get restless - ready for a change, something different, some excitement. more than actually having a new life, i think i was just expressing a desire to change things up a bit. and when i said that, i had a picture in my head of what "quitting my life and getting a new one" would look like - a clear idea of what would happen if that were to happen.

fast forward to today - a few days, or weeks, later. it's funny how you can get what you wish for in a completely different and unexpected way. life is getting some excitement. i have new things to do and new things to be excited about. life works out in the way you least expect it to sometimes.

(side note, somewhat related? - my scripture study has been in need of some help lately. so i gave myself a challenge - i started the book of mormon again last night and i'm going to finish it by labor day. 230 chapters divided by 31 days = about 8 chapters a night. anyone want to join me?)

i will rise up with fists

after a night of strange and unsettling dreams, (which included one of not getting enough sleep... not a good omen) i am feeling awake and energetic and inspired and empowered. (i hate that word.)

i'm tired of feeling stupid or apologetic for being myself.

i'm tired of trying to be something i'm not.

i'm tired of waiting around for things to happen to me.

i'm tired of dreaming big dreams and then doing nothing about them.

and i'm tired of trying to make things happen that are hopeless - that suck all my effort and energy and get nowhere.

i'm going to do things - i'm going to write a book, and i'm going to move to london, and i'm going to travel and see places and do things. i'm going to grow in my convictions and my faith and my testimony, and i'm going to pare down in other areas and make the things simpler that need to be simpler.

i'm going to stop waiting around to be noticed and i'm going to forget the people who aren't noticing. i'm going to love the people around me and tell them, and stop worrying about being loved back.

i'm going to be happy with where i am, and work on improving to get somewhere better.

tho it were ten thousand miles

things that have been on my mind lately, as told by google image search:

you may tire of me

alright, i have a confession to make.

i’m posting this to see if there is any support out there, or if you all just think i’m crazy, so anyone with any inkling of an opinion on this subject – speak up please! if you don’t, i might die. seriously.

anyway, here it goes.




i’m writing a book.



here’s the deal – i love to write. But i don’t know if it is one of those things that i irrationally love and everyone else is just kind of “meh” about. like when i sing, or playing beatles rock band, or gordon hayward, or princess bride, or any one of a number of things.

i’m shamelessly calling on you to stroke my ego a bit, or to not spare my feelings while you’re telling me the truth. i need to decide if it’s worth pouring all my blood, sweat, and tears into this, or if it’s just going to turn into a catastrophic failure that will cause me to carry through with all my threats and really become a hermit.

and if there is any ounce of support out there, then i’m giving you another responsibility – i’m holding you accountable for holding me accountable. the way i figure it, if i know there will be people checking up on me, i’m more likely to stick with it.

so, there it is. let me know, if you can find it in your hearts to help me out. would you read it? would you buy it? do you think i’m crazy? if i hear nothing, maybe i’ll take that as an answer…

(p.s. i just had an awesome weekend with my brothers. friday i had the day off and we hiked to a swimming hole straight out of “lost,” accompanied by my friend emily. here’s a picture. then, i had a dream that emily and i met president monson and afterwards, at general conference, he told everyone that i was crazy… not sure what that means, but it feels like it has to mean something.)

actions is cooler

listened to a new radiolab yesterday, about communicating with robots. they really should have a warning label on those - now i'm freaked out. but it also served to renew my conviction to never get on a dating site. who knows what kind of weird human/non-humans are on there? so i guess those two things kind of cancel each other out. (and if you are a weird human/non-human on a dating site, i'm a little sorry. don't be offended.)

however, the podcast did make me think. (i'll wait while you all recover from your shock.) they talked at length about the difference between being alive and being a simulation of alive. (anyone wondering how i got freaked out? that's almost it, right there. got my wheels turning...) and while i do love technology and the fabulous things it makes possible (cell phones, life-saving surgery, tivoed basketball games), if that's the dilemma we are going to come to because of technology, i'd like to stop here. or at least stop people from going there.



one of the hosts of the show and one of the guests were struggling to come up with a definition of what real emotions are, or what makes a human alive and a really really really great robot not alive. i was yelling some answers at them but they weren't listening. i know what i think, but what do people who don't have knowledge of the gospel think? how do they reconcile that question in their minds?



i think it's safe to say i will not be seeking out any robot interactions in the near future. (i almost wrote robert interactions... that too, i guess, unless i happen to meet a really amazing robert.)

start a brand new colony

two lists

things i should be doing:

- working on my relief society lesson
- sleeping
- writing something for class
- cleaning
- practicing the piano
- laundry
- making plans
- keeping up with my correspondence (or starting correspondence)
- drinking more water

what i am doing:
- reading
- thinking about writing something for class
- wishing i wasn't sunburnt
- basking in the glory of lebron getting beat
- procrastinating
- sneezing up a storm

hasn't caught on yet

stupid heat...

meanwhile, in other news - i am announcing right now to the world that i have a new found appreciation for my life, and for moms. both for the same reason - i played mom this weekend to a three year old and a one year old and i lived. i knew kids were hard because people told me they were hard, but i didn't know what hard meant until i lived it for 2 days. i probably won't be complaining about being single anytime soon. and all you moms out there - you are more amazing then i knew. for real.

but i also learned it can be really fun - making playdough, and ice cream cones at 9:45 am (don't tell jessi) and naked sprinkler time (not me, just the boys). it is possible those are babysitter things, not mom things, but that doesn't mean there is no overlap. and i can only think of a few other times when i went to bed with such a big appreciation for the fact that i was still breathing.

all in all, i'm glad i got to spend a weekend with the boys before they move away from the state and i'm not their favorite aunt anymore. i sure am gonna miss them.

a different town today

i feel a little bit silly about my finals picks right about now. but watch this and tell me something - how can you not love him? he looks so sad - i just want to give him a huge hug. he's my favorite, and i don't care that the mavs swept the lakers, i hate them.

in other news - camping! this weekend! for real! as long as i can stave off this illness i feel creeping up on me, my dream will come true.

now i just need a road trip...

beneath an orange sky

there are a few reasons i've been dreading summer this year. one hundred and fifteen degrees is one. people moving is another (what am i doing to do without my favorite three and one year olds?)

but i do have some fun things to look forward to:

-thunder and bulls finals (i predicted this before the playoffs started, even though i doubt anyone will believe me. and i know it's probably considered a long shot, but i've got all my fingers and toes crossed. i love me some kevin durant.)

-piles of fabric waiting to be a quilt

-piles of notebooks waiting to be filled

-a swimming pool waiting for dry ice (i forgot to take pictures last year)

-camping? finally?

-playing "mom" for the weekend to aforementioned one and three year olds. it will be an accomplishment if everyone is still alive afterwards. especially me.

-sorely needed new glasses

-sleeping in saturdays. i never knew how much i would love them until i started waking up at five am on weekdays. that is early, in case you were wondering.

-nba draft! jimmer!

-and, hopefully at some point, a road trip. don't care where to, don't care how long, i just want to make it happen

if you find yourself falling apart

question of the day - is it too early to be playing christmas music on the piano? or too late? i guess it doesn't matter what the answer is, i'm doing it anyway...

i've had something on my mind since this weekend that i can't seem to stop thinking about. you see, some friends and i went to scottsdale to celebrate emily turning 30, and we stayed at an amazing resort with 10 pools and a sushi bar and espn (pretty much everything you need to be happy.) and since then, i've been wondering what my idea of the perfect life is.

i think everyone has an idea of it, and i'm no exception, i think. but i can't seem to decide on just one idea of perfect.

emily and i actually discussed this while sitting on the balcony of our resort room. (i forgot to mention balconies in my list up there. and i can't call it a hotel.) sometimes i think perfect would be enough money that i could spend it all on the people i love, helping us all to do adventurous fun things like sail around the world or live on the beach for six months.

but other times, like when i read my favorite book, i think about how having no money is sometimes the best answer. then the politics and the awkwardness don't get in the way. what you see is what you get, and even if it isn't much, it is honest and straightforward and real.

so what to do? having money can cause problems, and being poor is usually romanticized. so i just keep going back and forth, vacillating between both of those ideas, and lots of others. and i came to this conclusion - no matter what, life will be perfect if i have the people i love close to me.

(i've been getting sentimental in my old age, i guess. it possibly has something to do with this little girl. i wish i wasn't 5000 miles away.)

things keep coming

i know i am the wimpiest person in the history of the world, but i would like to know this -


how many things are more scary than being at home all alone with a little six pound dog who wakes you up in the middle of the night barking at something, and then realizing the golf club you kept next to your bed for just such an occasion is back in the bag in the garage where it belongs?


in case you were wondering, just such an occasion occurred in my life last night. i locked my bedroom door and spent the next twenty minutes laying in bed trying to stay awake to listen for intruder sounds and planning the best route to my sewing scissors in my closet. and singing "hide your kids, hide your wife." i'm not terribly rational or coherent when i'm rudely awoken like that.

travel just by folding a map

word of the day: autochthonus (i came across this while i was reading tonight, and it was driving me crazy because i had no idea how to pronounce it.)

i like to think of myself as an independent person - someone who doesn't really need much that i can't provide for myself. i've said many times that my dream is to be a hermit in the mountains somewhere so i don't have to deal with all the junk that comes from real life.

yesterday, i got some very sad sad news that made me reconsider that notion.

i think the older i get, the more independent i get. it's easy to live according to your own whims and desires and not have to worry about anyone else. but what would i do without the anyone else's in my life?

i've received sad news before, and i've turned to my friends and family for comfort. this sad news i got yesterday doesn't affect me directly, but it does directly affect people i love and care about, and that does affect me, at least eventually.

the support system surrounding us is something that is easily taken for granted - it's just around until that moment when we need it and immediately put it to use. i like to think that i'm part of some one's support - that i can be trusted to comfort and help, even in the smallest possible way. and if i'm a hermit, i can't help anyone really.

that's one of the many things i love about the gospel - there is an inherent support system that stretches infinitely, directly to our Savior. and usually with lots of loving people in between.

(andrea, you might not read this anytime soon, but i just wanted you to know i thought about you guys 17000 times today.)

don't you know what i'm thinking

i have to say, and i hope i don't sound like a bad jazz fan when i say this, watching the playoffs is almost a more enjoyable experience when you don't have a horse in the race (or whatever the saying is.) i am enjoying just watching the games (and all the preliminaries/postliminaries on tnt) and experiencing some excellent basketball. i wouldn't call myself an indifferent observer - i still have my opinions on the games (go thunder!) but it's nice to watch without being in danger of having a heart attack.

this weekend i had my first ever public organ performance. i did not have the bells on, sadly. i've wanted to play the organ bells ever since andrea did it for Christmas one year and no one in the congregation sang because we were laughing so hard.

yesterday at 6:00 pm it was 90 degrees in chandler. and it was snowing in parts of utah county (i hear.) az is the place to be.

another thing about this weekend - it was stake conference. i love stake conference. i love any kind of conference, really, or at least the church kinds. the general authority who came was an excellent speaker - very animated and engaging. the saturday night session was the best - he told a story about clinging to his cell phone that was funny and endearing and pointed all at once. i won't think about "clinging to the rod of iron" in the same way again. in a good way.

carried to ohio in a swarm of bees

my friend crapping dawg came to visit this weekend. and i learned it's always a good idea to have a plan b (or c or d or e)

plan a - go golfing
it was too hot for that

plan b - go to a diamondbacks game
someone (me) is dumb and thought it started at 8:10... it really started 3 hours earlier

plan c - go to the temple to watch the easter pageant
it was in spanish that night

plan d - go to the zoo
this never made it past the suggestion stage

plan e - go to joe's farm grill, then walk around the temple grounds during the spanish pageant, then go to bahama buck's for some delicious shaved ice, then watch megamind
this is what actually happened.

i love having visitors. and bahama buck's. and megamind.

i'm getting older too

i love me some fleetwood.

-i watched scottie and isaac the other night, and when i put scottie to bed he wanted to sing some songs. we sang a few, and then started "i am a child of god." he got really into that one - i think it was the only one that he sang all of the words to. well, he sang all of the words with his own scottie spin. my favorite part - "has given me a nerdly home."

-i've been having an awkward experience the last few days... this super weirdy new guy at work has had multiple opportunities to talk to me face to face, but instead he hurries back to his desk to email me. i don't understand that thought process. i was pondering over it last night, and had an epiphany - maybe he thinks he's emailing someone else. because i think he has spoken a total of 6 words to me in person, and he has definitely never asked my name. i'm pretty sure i'm on to something with this.

- i do not deal with change well. not at all.

- one of my students was looking at me funny on monday, so i asked him what was going on.
he said "is your hair different?"
i said, "yes, i dyed and cut it."
another funny look, then "it's crazy."
thank you very much.

someday we will surely find it

this has been on my mind lately -

i would like someone to make me up some graphs of the discrepancies between what i think about something i do, and what other people think about it. it usually comes as a surprise to me when people compliment something i do, because mostly what i see are the flaws - the flaws in my motivation, or the flaws in my delivery, or a hundred other things.

if not the graphs, maybe a diagram of people's thought processes. wouldn't it be nice if we could push a button somewhere in our brains, and a diagram would pop up in the air, showing you how someone reached the conclusion they did? i think such an invention would be extremely helpful in arguments as well as to satiate my curiosity. and it would be nice to be selective about it - only see the process if we choose to.

anyway, if any of you know any inventors looking for a new project, this is the top of my wish list.

i've learned this truth

"often the deep valleys of our present will be understood only by looking back on them from the mountains of our future experience. often we can’t see the Lord’s hand in our lives until long after trials have passed. often the most difficult times of our lives are essential building blocks that form the foundation of our character and pave the way to future opportunity, understanding, and happiness.

patience is a process of perfection. The Savior Himself said that in your patience you possess your souls. or, to use another translation of the greek text, in your patience you win mastery of your souls. patience means to abide in faith, knowing that sometimes it is in the waiting rather than in the receiving that we grow the most. this was true in the time of the Savior. it is true in our time as well, for we are commanded in these latter days to 'continue in patience until ye are perfected.'"

president Uchtdorf, april 2010 priesthood session

i heart general conference - less than 24 hours to go

home is whenever i'm with you

the title of this blog post is sponsored by my road trip to utah this weekend, and a song.

i have a whole list of people and things that make me feel that way, including but not limited to (and in alphabetical order so no one thinks i'm playing favorites)

apple cider
aunts
basketball
cousins
dogs
friends
general conference on my ipod
grandparents
mario kart
mythbusters
parents
rocky mountain chocolate factory
second, adopted family
siblings
sunshine
uncles
wii resort three point basketball contest

my ideal living situation would be all of those things, all conveniently located five minutes from each other, with a temple in the middle. maybe some apple trees and orange trees and a target thrown in...

three things i could have done without this weekend:
the creepy guy at the gas station who told me he liked my toes
the snow
the spider on the chair

i know it well

some letters...

dear roadtrip,
i'm so excited i am starting you a little earlier than anticipated. however, let's try to keep gas prices as low as possible, shall we?

dear argentina,
please open your airports soon. i miss my brother.

dear mensa puzzles,
i like it when you are easy, word type puzzles, so i feel smart. enough with the hard math problems. my brain does not function that way.

dear march madness,
oh, how i've missed you. thanks for keeping the madness at a nice level - enough to be exciting, but not so much that my bracket is a total loss. i'd like to keep my final four teams going strong. and be kind to jimmer, or else...

dear spring,
i love you.

won't look at you

yesterday, i got done teaching my last piano student and walked out to my car. her dad was outside watering his roses, which were beautiful, so i complimented them. and got sucked into a twenty minute lecture.

he started off telling me about how some of the plants died, but he took them back to the nursery and they replaced them. then he told me about his plantations back in india, and how his family grows coconuts and mangoes and rubber. then he told me how much he paid for their old house, and how much he paid for the new one they live in now.

then, we got to the juicy stuff. he started telling me that kids in america have too much freedom, with their cars and their cell phones and whatever else. his kids won't get that much freedom. women today have too many options and too many opportunities - they go out and marry sleazeballs and have kids and then get divorced and then do it all over again.

so, arranged marriages are the answer! he will find some people with a son for his daughter and talk to them before the kids even meet, and then they'll get married and he will monitor them and make sure his daughter is being taken care of or else (he'll beat him up? i don't know...) but that won't happen if his girl is interested in other boys, so he'll make sure she's not doing anything scandalous (like dating...)

and you are all welcome for the enlightenment. i guess i've been doing things all wrong...

across that lonesome ocean

i need a vacation.

preferably here.

but, in two weeks, my little brother will be coming home from here

and i will be going here

to see him, and whoever else wants to be seen. (crapping dawg? stephanie? andrea - will you be there? any takers?)

and that is the best vacation ever.

sailing away in the morning

today, i had a productive day. i'll show you.

first, i taught piano. sometimes that is the funniest thing i do all week. i love it when i get to a lesson and my students are all excited because they practiced, and they get stickers for their songs, and then they want me to help them choose a sticker... something funny happened today while i was teaching, but i sure can't remember what it was.

when i got home, i worked on this (while simultaneously watching the cougars):

no big deal, just this quilt i'm making.

after that, i saw this sunset

went to dinner and a movie, practiced the piano in there somewhere, listened to pandora. and drove around with the windows down in the 80 degree weather. pretty awesome day.

i get the news i need from the weather report

what a crazy, busy, long two weeks it has been. i'm looking forward to this week when i don't have anything i have to do (besides the usuals.) the bonus of this past two weeks, however, are these highlights i will so kindly share with you all (in no particular order):

- fake nephew #2's fantastic 1st birthday party, including an amazing cake of which i did not get a picture

- jazz/suns game with staci that i already posted about. but that conversation still makes me laugh

- babysitting fake nephew's #1 and 2, which included another funny conversation.
scott (who was a little sick): "jenna, this soup is so delicious. it feels me so better!"
me: i actually don't think i said anything, but i did laugh at him. he's cute

- forgetting about having to teach relief society until the day before

-a day off work, spent at the suites cutting out quilt pieces

- jimmer and the other byu's beating san diego state, again! which i did not get to watch, because we had no tv, because...

- we got new carpet. and my room is super clean and organized. everyone better come see it quick

- one week of no soda!

- lunch with jessi and her mom, during which i did one of the most embarrassing things i have ever done. i'm ashamed. maybe i'll tell you about it someday...

- yesterday, this crossed my path. it must be good luck

this is a toad. sorry about the picture quality - it was dark and i was using my phone. after taking this picture, i picked up the toad and moved it to a safer place. i videoed that, but no one is allowed to watch it with the sound on because i sound like an idiot.

the air inside my lungs is heavenly

i've been feeling like my life needs a change. a big change. maybe because that's been the topic of conversation everywhere i go these days. anyway, i read a magazine article about this

and it got me started. here's a partial list:

- i ordered this book from amazon and i can't wait to get it and read it and try it out. (i also ordered some others, but i'm most excited about this one.)

- i will be purchasing some new running shoes and starting to run again, as soon as it is light enough outside for me to run when i get home. (i don't have a big enough dog to go when it's dark.)

- i organized all my drawers.

- probably gonna join a csa when the one i want has openings in march.

- i scheduled in my piano practicing time. (big accomplishment, believe me.)

- this is the biggest one - i'm giving up soda. i just decided. sometimes i make the best decisions on the fly like that. i'm not sure i'm prepared for the headaches though.

anyway, i'm excited to try all this out. sometimes, though, when i get excited about things, i get excited for a few days and then it sort of peters out... so i'm holding you all accountable for holding me accountable. whether you like it or not.

sometimes lonely hearts they just get lonelier

the calm before the storm

tonight, in phoenix, the jazz and suns played in a major debacle, and i had tickets. i got to witness the madness first hand. it was thrilling, it was fun, it was a heart breaker. it's funny how you can be in the same room as about a million people and still feel so lonely.

the best part of my evening, however, had to be the guy sitting next to me. he didn't realize i was a jazz fan (despite my jazz attire) until al jefferson scored the first basket and i cheered like a crazy. after that, he decided to see how serious i was about it. he started out slow, asking how i felt about jerry sloan quitting (i think you can all guess how that conversation went) and when i answered that satisfactorily, he was quiet for a bit.

in the second quarter, he decided he would try a little harder. the conversation went something like this:

him: "you know, the jazz didn't always used to be in utah."

me: "yeah..."

him: "they used to be in new orleans before they moved there."

me: (incredulous look - he had to be joking)

him: "yup, bet you didn't know that. that was before you were born."

me: "yeah, with pistol pete."

him: silence...

a while later, he tried to test me again.

him: "the jazz used to have a good big man, before al jefferson. did you know that? he was one of the best big men of his day."

me: "mark eaton?" (in my head: "really? mark eaton? but he can't mean greg ostertag.")

him: silence again. then "i guess you really are a jazz fan."

in my head again: "if he asks me if i know who john stockton is, i'll call security."

all in all, a pretty high quality way to spend a tuesday evening. thanks for the Christmas present staci!

love of life means hope for me

i love sundays.

i especially love sundays when they turn out like today did.

i got to go this morning to spend time with some special people - the lady i hung out with is named lisa, and she has down's syndrome. she just wanted a shoulder to rest her head on, so i sat next to her and let her. i held her hand, helped her sing some amazing primary songs, and let her wave her american flag. it was incredible. i can't wait to go again next week - i have never felt so strongly the love that the Lord has for other people.

i especially love sundays when the relief society lessons are like mine was today (i really love it when they are not taught by me...) annie did an unbelievable job. she brought a smile to my face, tears to my eyes, and conviction to my soul. in half an hour. quite an accomplishment, if you ask me. someday maybe i'll be like her...

and, i especially love sundays when i listen to perfect sunday music. this song came on my ipod today, and i couldn't have picked a better one to fit the mood of the day. this last week has been crazy busy and somewhat stressful. if i can take the words of that song to heart tonight and spend a sunday evening doing things that are important, becoming "calm in my soul" will be the perfect remedy, and the perfect preface to another busy week ahead.

now we say goodnight

a list of things i thought i would see before jerry sloan died coaching the jazz:

- a title

- an 8th harry potter book

- my grandkids

- flying cars

- the second coming
- my own published book
- the end of facebook
- china, again
- byu winning the national title
- robot butlers

what a sad day. my heart sunk when i heard jerry was resigning. i'd take him over deron williams any day. in a heartbeat. with one hand tied behind my back. blindfolded...

anyway, here's john stockton talking about it. what a classy guy.

good thing i still have jimmer.

i feel so helpless now

the last time i cried was yesterday, during my lunch break. i hate disappointing people, but i think the strange paradox of the situation is that i probably feel worse than the people i'm disappointing. that makes no sense. anyway, i had to tell lisa i couldn't come to her wedding, and i cried. i'm a dork.

also, i've been listening to a new favorite song on repeat since yesterday morning. actually, it's an old favorite song, just rediscovered. i'm so embarrassed that i do that - am i the only one? seriously, i think i've listened to two others in the last 48-ish hours. that makes the count: 749 - rediscovered favorite, 2 - two others.

i'm trying to send out good karma in advance of the jazz/suns game i will be attending next week. they need it, bad. (both teams, but the jazz especially, since i'll be ticked if they lose.) so only good thoughts for me until next wednesday.

i have heard a lot of sad stories lately (might have something to do with this book i'm reading - the books i read tend to color my lenses a little bit. it is, however, an excellent read. i'm avoiding finishing it because i don't want it to be over.) whenever someone tells me about the sad circumstances of their life, i just want to give them a big hug. are hugs really that therapeutic, or is that just my gut reaction because i don't know what else to do? who knows...

standing in the lobby

last week i got to babysit this cute little guy and his cute little brother (who was unfortunately asleep during the video session.)

and since i'm the best babysitter ever, we went to the beach. in an elevator. bet you didn't know the beach was on the seventh floor...

also, scott drove to the homes of everyone we know. but apparently the elevator made a bigger impression.

here he is explaining, and jumping around in his race car bed.

have mercy on me

in the spirit of well-rounded-ness (new word i just made up) i am going to make an effort today to not write about the colossal meltdown the jazz are experiencing, or anything that starts with a j and ends with an immer...

(crickets)

(more crickets)

alright, that's a joke. i have plenty to talk about besides basketball, i promise.

i was talking to someone recently (emily, i think) about my plans for the future. specifically, my plans to not ever live where there is snow again. my love affair with arizona grows and grows with every seventy degree january day that i experience.

i roasted a chicken with lemons last night - i could eat that every day.

i need more hours in the day. or more days in the weekend. especially if i want to ever make the quilt i've been planning on making for months.

i just talked to someone on the phone who spelled out his company name using italian words to clarify the letters. how is that helpful?

i love getting the mail, even when there is nothing in it for me. but i love it even more when there is something in it for me. i should be getting my course materials delivered to my mailbox any day now and i can't wait...

another thing i can't wait for? driving to a game after work today with my windows down and my sunroof open. (arizona is the place to be, i'm telling you. it's january, and i will be driving around town with my windows down and my sunroof open.)

one basketball mention, because i just can't help myself - jimmer and the other guys beating san diego state last night. i lost sleep for two nights because of that game, and it was all worth it. i was not disappointed. well maybe a little, because he forgot to shoot from half court.

i'll be just fine here

right now, at this moment, you are looking at... a new student! (well, you're looking at her blog. oh well.) i signed up for "english 218: creative writing" yesterday, and i'm super stoked. it's about time i got back on the wagon. (and i'm starting small - just kinda feeling it out.)

speaking of which, anyone out there think i may have a career in sports writing? because, let's be honest, i'm really good at it. well, i don't know that i'm really good at it, but i really really wish i was good at it. sounds like the ideal job - i doubt i would put up a huge fight if i had to watch games and write about them for a living. every time i watch jimmer shoot a crazy three i feel like i could write paragraphs. and the perks - i bet sports writers get really good seats at all the games they go to. or i could just be some nba player's trophy wife - know anyone who's looking? (steve nash, maybe?)

speaking of which, i thought earlier in the week that it might be fun to drive to vegas in march to go to the mountain west conference end of season tournament. and then i thought "hey, i really could!" things just escalated from there, and the plan is now under serious consideration. i have a free hotel room even. just need to figure out the ticket situation, and get some peeps excited about a road trip. (open audition for excited peeps - we get to drive over the new bridge! and stay in a nice hotel for free! and watch some high quality basketball! there should be people lining up out the door...)

you've wrung me out

some things that have been on my mind lately:

where did the term "dark horse" originate?

how many more amazing games does jimmer fredette have to have before the cougs get some love? (this may be answered tomorrow?)

why is it that sometimes you can write out a perfectly spelled word and it still looks so completely wrong?

who at ESPN thought it would be a good idea to hire jeff van gundy? (he said no one on a sub 500 team should be in the all star game. ever heard of blake griffin, jeff?)

why does being sick mess with your brain function so much? (or at least my brain function. maybe it doesn't happen to everyone.)

problems with easy solutions

one of the things i love about watching basketball is watching people doing something they do really well. getting to watch michael jordan, john stockton, kevin durant, and jimmer fredette is beautiful, and watching for potential talent in others is part of that fun. people with real talent are a pleasure to watch in any capacity.


one thing that i try to remind myself of, though, is this: no one is that good at everything. those basketball players are not that good at cooking, probably, or designing furniture, or (dare i say it) building relationships. (neither am i, and i'm not even good at basketball to make up for it. what a bummer.) people are blessed with talents, yes, but not everyone has every talent, and life is more interesting because of that.


every year, when i'm thinking about new year's resolutions, i forget that important principle. (i might start reading this article by elder holland every new year's eve, to help myself have some perspective.) usually, my resolutions end up one of two ways - i make too many, or none at all. i'm only too aware of the things i am bad at - the things that need improving. and depending on my frame of mind on january first, either i get ambitious about fixing everything and make a billion resolutions, or i get discouraged thinking about everything that needs fixing and i give up before i start.

this year started out like the first case - too many. (funny though, because i thought to myself "i'm going to pare down this year and just make a couple." but my list kept growing right before my eyes. it had a life of it's own...) my dad asked me on saturday what my resolutions were, and i could only remember two: practice the piano 4 times a week and be less selfish. good, not great.


so i decided yesterday to change course, to be more like a basketball player and focus on doing one thing really well. so my new new year's resolution (or birthday resolution, since the beginning of the year is old news by now) this year is to be more attentive. i keep finding myself distracted - i feel like my attention span is getting shorter as i get older (isn't that the opposite of what is supposed to happen?) and i am not being fair to most people or things that cross my path. i could stand to be a better friend, a better listener, less selfish and focused on me, and less distracted by outside influences.


the bonus to this is - if i do this well, all of the areas of my life that i want to improve will improve. i will be better at studying my scriptures and saying my prayers, more thoughtful and gracious towards my family and friends, a better worker, a better member of my ward, a better follower of my Savior. (i keep thinking of this talk by president uchtdorf.)

a few side notes - i'm just making all this basketball junk up. it's what i think it would be like, as a pretty outside observer. i've only been a player once in my life (competitively, in young womens. driveway doesn't count) and a coach once in my life (also young womens. yelling from my couch definitely doesn't count, even if i do have very good suggestions.) and i've never been kicked out of a game. also, this "one resolution" thing feels a teeny bit like cheating. does it qualify as one if i'm planning on it improving multiple aspects of my life?